I just realized... if the boys are in swim lessons and I have to get in, I seriously need to do some swimsuit shopping. I've been hiding in my maternity swimsuit since 2003. Sadly, it still fits.
Can you hear me crying?
I actually got a suit from oldnavy.com, and it was cute on the model online! Not so cute on me. It fit okay, but showed uber cleavage, more than I care to share. I sent it back today.
I got the jeans shopping thing down, now it's time to tackle swimsuits. I am so not looking forward to this. If anyone has any suggestions (other than losing monster weight), please feel free to share.
You know, shopping in general kind of sucks sometimes. Like, I found a bra that was about 90% perfect, and now they've discontinued it, of course. I can't even find it online anywhere. I realized if I do the short, boot cut jeans from Old Navy, they are always going to fit. Score. But swimsuits? I bought one in high school, one in college and one when I was pregnant. They're not for fashion, but sadly, function. I used to swim laps so I'd get the athletic ones. In Harry Potter they have the Cloak of Invisibility... I wonder if anyone makes a swimsuit in that style. I would pay for anything that could hide the former baby bump (that still IS a baby bump).
Ho hum.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
killing time
I've been listening to Tech Talk with Lauren for about ten minutes now. I haven't even said anything for that long... he's talking about his computer. It is so painful it makes me want to cry. All I have to do is say "uh huh" every few minutes. I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't give a $^!*. He loves technology. I'd so much rather be talking about .... actually, nothing. What I wouldn't give for some quiet... atleast the blog is making me forget about the words going in my right ear and coming out the left.
Thankfully Ben just ripped the phone out of my ear. Ben can always make him change the subject.
Lauren got the boys signed up for swim lessons at the Raymond Park Aquatic Center. Ben will be in a class with 3-5 year olds, and Evan will be in a 3-36 month class with me. I'm glad Ben will not be with me - he's really scared of getting his face wet. Maybe he'll work better with someone he doesn't know.
Ben gave the phone back. Lauren is rambling. Surprise!
So I've been working a temp job for about three weeks now, and they offered me a full time position. It's an A/P & Payroll position, and pays pretty well. It's a non-profit organization in Castleton that has health care clinics around the state for low-income individuals. I'm hoping everything works out - I've been "offered" full time positions before, then they do layoffs just before it's time to get hired on. I'll believe it and get excited when it happens!
Still listening to rambling. Now it's onto his GPS, which is a nice break from computer chat. We're at 22 minutes now. Blah blah blah Microsoft blah blah blah license blah blah blah battery blah blah blah desktop blah blah blah.....
Somebody save me, please???
Thankfully Ben just ripped the phone out of my ear. Ben can always make him change the subject.
Lauren got the boys signed up for swim lessons at the Raymond Park Aquatic Center. Ben will be in a class with 3-5 year olds, and Evan will be in a 3-36 month class with me. I'm glad Ben will not be with me - he's really scared of getting his face wet. Maybe he'll work better with someone he doesn't know.
Ben gave the phone back. Lauren is rambling. Surprise!
So I've been working a temp job for about three weeks now, and they offered me a full time position. It's an A/P & Payroll position, and pays pretty well. It's a non-profit organization in Castleton that has health care clinics around the state for low-income individuals. I'm hoping everything works out - I've been "offered" full time positions before, then they do layoffs just before it's time to get hired on. I'll believe it and get excited when it happens!
Still listening to rambling. Now it's onto his GPS, which is a nice break from computer chat. We're at 22 minutes now. Blah blah blah Microsoft blah blah blah license blah blah blah battery blah blah blah desktop blah blah blah.....
Somebody save me, please???
Monday, February 18, 2008
What's grosser than gross?
DISCLAIMER: If you have a weak stomach, you may want to pass this one up.
Remember that game you used to play when you were ten, and you'd ask your friend what's grosser than gross? Here's one I remember:
What's grosser than gross? You pooped your pants. What's grosser than that? You took them off and threw them against the wall. What's grosser than that? They slid down the wall. What's grosser than that? They walked back up again.
Yeah, it's stupid. It's like the diarrhea song, which brings me to my next point.
Evan had a fever last night and this morning, and all three of the guys have had diarrhea since then. So, last night Ben comes down the stairs naked. Here's how it went down:
B: Mommy, I think I had diarrhea or something.
M: (Does anyone else find this hilarious that our initials are BM? Moving on..)
Are you okay?
B: Yeah, I had a little accident.
M: (I head upstairs) Do you need help?
B: Yeah. I think it was diarrhea or something. It's kind of grayish-brown. I tried to go to the bathroom, and just felt a splat.
M: Let's get you cleaned up.
(I walk in the bathroom, and there is no mess, and no underwear. I cleaned him up.)
M: Ben, where is your underwear?
B: I don't know.
M: Ben, you know where your underwear is. Where is it?
B: I'll go get it.
M: (I follow him into his room and turn on the light)
B: I think it's behind the toybox.
M: (eww eww eww)
M: How did it get behind the toybox?
B: I don't know.
Yeah, seriously, he threw his diarrhea underwear in the corner, behind the toybox. I felt so bad for him - it's been such a long time since he's had an accident, even at night, and I know he was embarassed. On the other hand, seriously, EWWWW! I had to clean diarrhea off the wall, toy box and out of the carpet. It was grosser than gross.
Ewww.
Remember that game you used to play when you were ten, and you'd ask your friend what's grosser than gross? Here's one I remember:
What's grosser than gross? You pooped your pants. What's grosser than that? You took them off and threw them against the wall. What's grosser than that? They slid down the wall. What's grosser than that? They walked back up again.
Yeah, it's stupid. It's like the diarrhea song, which brings me to my next point.
Evan had a fever last night and this morning, and all three of the guys have had diarrhea since then. So, last night Ben comes down the stairs naked. Here's how it went down:
B: Mommy, I think I had diarrhea or something.
M: (Does anyone else find this hilarious that our initials are BM? Moving on..)
Are you okay?
B: Yeah, I had a little accident.
M: (I head upstairs) Do you need help?
B: Yeah. I think it was diarrhea or something. It's kind of grayish-brown. I tried to go to the bathroom, and just felt a splat.
M: Let's get you cleaned up.
(I walk in the bathroom, and there is no mess, and no underwear. I cleaned him up.)
M: Ben, where is your underwear?
B: I don't know.
M: Ben, you know where your underwear is. Where is it?
B: I'll go get it.
M: (I follow him into his room and turn on the light)
B: I think it's behind the toybox.
M: (eww eww eww)
M: How did it get behind the toybox?
B: I don't know.
Yeah, seriously, he threw his diarrhea underwear in the corner, behind the toybox. I felt so bad for him - it's been such a long time since he's had an accident, even at night, and I know he was embarassed. On the other hand, seriously, EWWWW! I had to clean diarrhea off the wall, toy box and out of the carpet. It was grosser than gross.
Ewww.
Friday, February 15, 2008
permanent blog
I could seriously write the same exact blog every day with growing compassion. There would be two topics: one would be my strange habit of waking around 2 am, totally unable to sleep, and the second would be how much I absolutely despise winter.
Yeah, so I wake up around 2 am every morning for no reason. I get up, I pee, and it's over. I'm awake. No bad dreams tonight, I had zero caffeine or alcohol yesterday... just awake. I'm too tired to do anything productive, really, so I usually blog or Nick at Nite.
I've tried to find the positive side to winter. I've tried really hard. I just flat out hate it. I was talking to my aunt who lives in Louisiana, and she was like "Why would anyone want to live somewhere that cold on purpose?" Good question. Now, I've heard there are actually people who thrive in winter, whose bodies are conditioned for it... I believe it's urban legend. I was thinking this the other day... when I had to scrape the ice off my car to go to work in the morning. Then again, after my car was at work, because the initial trip warmed my car enough to melt the new snow, then cooled down enough to make a perfect sheet of ice on the car again. That was just lunch time... I even got to do it a third time before I went home. Then... this is the cherry on top. I went to get gas and the gas tank was iced shut. 20 degrees out, windy, and my ass is at the Speedway station with a ball point pen trying to clear the ice out enough to put gas in the car. So... please remind me, why am I not sane like the rest of my family who is in LA??
Seriously, March 21 couldn't come fast enough. Bring on the sun! Bring on the green grass and the open windows and the fresh air! I'm tired of being trapped in the house. I'm tired of the cold feet and the 10 minutes of bundling we have to do every time we want to run outside. Last year we moved into the house in the winter, and the neighborhood totally came out of hibernation once the weather started to warm up. It was wonderful! People out taking walks, riding bikes and enjoying themselves. People we'd see many times a day we now haven't seen since about November. It's like side-by-side bomb shelters... one day we'll all come out a year older and two shades paler.
Punxatawny... couldn't you deliver one early one for us some time? Please?
Yeah, so I wake up around 2 am every morning for no reason. I get up, I pee, and it's over. I'm awake. No bad dreams tonight, I had zero caffeine or alcohol yesterday... just awake. I'm too tired to do anything productive, really, so I usually blog or Nick at Nite.
I've tried to find the positive side to winter. I've tried really hard. I just flat out hate it. I was talking to my aunt who lives in Louisiana, and she was like "Why would anyone want to live somewhere that cold on purpose?" Good question. Now, I've heard there are actually people who thrive in winter, whose bodies are conditioned for it... I believe it's urban legend. I was thinking this the other day... when I had to scrape the ice off my car to go to work in the morning. Then again, after my car was at work, because the initial trip warmed my car enough to melt the new snow, then cooled down enough to make a perfect sheet of ice on the car again. That was just lunch time... I even got to do it a third time before I went home. Then... this is the cherry on top. I went to get gas and the gas tank was iced shut. 20 degrees out, windy, and my ass is at the Speedway station with a ball point pen trying to clear the ice out enough to put gas in the car. So... please remind me, why am I not sane like the rest of my family who is in LA??
Seriously, March 21 couldn't come fast enough. Bring on the sun! Bring on the green grass and the open windows and the fresh air! I'm tired of being trapped in the house. I'm tired of the cold feet and the 10 minutes of bundling we have to do every time we want to run outside. Last year we moved into the house in the winter, and the neighborhood totally came out of hibernation once the weather started to warm up. It was wonderful! People out taking walks, riding bikes and enjoying themselves. People we'd see many times a day we now haven't seen since about November. It's like side-by-side bomb shelters... one day we'll all come out a year older and two shades paler.
Punxatawny... couldn't you deliver one early one for us some time? Please?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
kimodo alligator
Hi. It's 2 am. I'm awake. I have to be awake again in four hours, and I'm awake now.
The past two nights I've had really bad nightmares - the kind that wake you up, jumping out of bed, and then you can't get back to sleep.
We have some friends who live in Staten Island, Dave and Marsha. Marsha works in downtown NYC, and was taking the Staten Island ferry the morning of 9/11. She saw the first plane hit the WTC, and said the plane was close enough to her that they could see the passengers in the windows, and could see the fear in their faces.
So, last night in my dream, I was on a flight, but we saw a missile underneath us tear through about five buildings in NYC, and somehow we knew we were the next missile. Did I mention the missile was fluorescent camouflage, like Austin Powers' jumbo jet?
Today, I got off work early and stopped by the library to exchange books for the boys. Evan loves dragons, and I found a book about kimodo dragons. I flipped through it at the library, but we haven't read this one yet. So, tonight I had a dream that I bought both a kimodo dragon and some other kind of creepy animal for Evan. I put the animals down in our room (which was my room growing up), and left them there until Lauren got home from work. When he got home, the boys were asleep and I took him in the room to show him the pets. The dragon was on a new chair, and I was afraid it was going to poo on the new white pillow that was on the new brown chair. The other random animal turned into a bag of chocolate milk. Suddenly, the dragon's head grew into a foot-long alligator head, and it started to move. I was on the bed, thinking I was safe, and it jumped over to the bed and onto my back and it's face was in my face. I seriously jumped out of bed and grabbed Lauren. Luckily, Mr. Snore didn't budge.
So, now, even if I was tired I couldn't sleep because of the noise level in the bedroom. I'm on the couch, watching the Cosby Show, trying to forget about the pet that never was.
I am SO taking the book back to the library first thing in the morning.
The past two nights I've had really bad nightmares - the kind that wake you up, jumping out of bed, and then you can't get back to sleep.
We have some friends who live in Staten Island, Dave and Marsha. Marsha works in downtown NYC, and was taking the Staten Island ferry the morning of 9/11. She saw the first plane hit the WTC, and said the plane was close enough to her that they could see the passengers in the windows, and could see the fear in their faces.
So, last night in my dream, I was on a flight, but we saw a missile underneath us tear through about five buildings in NYC, and somehow we knew we were the next missile. Did I mention the missile was fluorescent camouflage, like Austin Powers' jumbo jet?
Today, I got off work early and stopped by the library to exchange books for the boys. Evan loves dragons, and I found a book about kimodo dragons. I flipped through it at the library, but we haven't read this one yet. So, tonight I had a dream that I bought both a kimodo dragon and some other kind of creepy animal for Evan. I put the animals down in our room (which was my room growing up), and left them there until Lauren got home from work. When he got home, the boys were asleep and I took him in the room to show him the pets. The dragon was on a new chair, and I was afraid it was going to poo on the new white pillow that was on the new brown chair. The other random animal turned into a bag of chocolate milk. Suddenly, the dragon's head grew into a foot-long alligator head, and it started to move. I was on the bed, thinking I was safe, and it jumped over to the bed and onto my back and it's face was in my face. I seriously jumped out of bed and grabbed Lauren. Luckily, Mr. Snore didn't budge.
So, now, even if I was tired I couldn't sleep because of the noise level in the bedroom. I'm on the couch, watching the Cosby Show, trying to forget about the pet that never was.
I am SO taking the book back to the library first thing in the morning.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
a boy thing?
My word!
I am sitting here, watching my boys wrestle and fight, and wondering... is this a boy thing? It's a daily routine. Every night we get home, and while I'm making dinner, it's fight club in the living room. The thing is... they enjoy this. Seriously, should I stop them? I try to intervene every night to no avail. Are any of my readers parents of boys or have multiple boys for children?
I grew up in a very, very quiet house. My dad was a very quiet person, my mom worked in the evenings, and Laurie and I were usually holed up in our rooms doing homework. After six years with Lauren and four with Ben, you'd think I'd be used to the noise! I'm not! We go out to dinner, and all I do is SSHHH!!! to Ben and Lauren because they're both so loud! All the time! Back to my point... I'm not used to being around 1. boys, or 2. loud people. I crave quiet more than anything!
AAAAHHHH!!!! Anyone know of any good earplugs on the market?
I am sitting here, watching my boys wrestle and fight, and wondering... is this a boy thing? It's a daily routine. Every night we get home, and while I'm making dinner, it's fight club in the living room. The thing is... they enjoy this. Seriously, should I stop them? I try to intervene every night to no avail. Are any of my readers parents of boys or have multiple boys for children?
I grew up in a very, very quiet house. My dad was a very quiet person, my mom worked in the evenings, and Laurie and I were usually holed up in our rooms doing homework. After six years with Lauren and four with Ben, you'd think I'd be used to the noise! I'm not! We go out to dinner, and all I do is SSHHH!!! to Ben and Lauren because they're both so loud! All the time! Back to my point... I'm not used to being around 1. boys, or 2. loud people. I crave quiet more than anything!
AAAAHHHH!!!! Anyone know of any good earplugs on the market?
Friday, February 8, 2008
eureka?
So... it just occurred to me.
I think I'm going to buy another camera! I'm always freaked out that I'm going to do a wedding and the camera is going to betray me (it has happened before). I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner! I've been looking online at Robert's, and found a model that is a step up from what I have (Nikon D200), and my batteries and lenses would fit (I think).
I'm also planning on buying some new props and backdrops, as I'm sure the handful of recurring customers I have are probably getting tired of the same old things.
Ooh yeah!! I'm excited. :)
I think I'm going to buy another camera! I'm always freaked out that I'm going to do a wedding and the camera is going to betray me (it has happened before). I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner! I've been looking online at Robert's, and found a model that is a step up from what I have (Nikon D200), and my batteries and lenses would fit (I think).
I'm also planning on buying some new props and backdrops, as I'm sure the handful of recurring customers I have are probably getting tired of the same old things.
Ooh yeah!! I'm excited. :)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
retro rewind
See, I'm driving in my car and think of all these great things to write about. Now, nothing. Go figure. I think my problem is that I've been watching too many Sex and the City reruns lately, and in my head I'm Carrie Bradshaw. Stop me when I start narrating out loud.
My latest addiction is 80's/90's music... specifically borrowing them from the library. So, last week I reqeusted (oh yeah!) Madonna's True Blue and Cyndi Lauper's True Colors. These were *quitessential* to my youth. I got True Blue from my best friend Kristen (I think!) for my 11th birthday, and listened to it non-stop for about two years (along with Footloose and Janet Jackson). Seriously, with my spiral perm and banana clips, I had a brush (I could put hair spray in the spray tip) that we would SO use as a microphone. On Friday nights, Kris and I would poof up the hair, throw on our leggings and jean jackets, and we WERE Madonna. Yeah, so I picked it up today, and ohmygoodness, it was like 80's disco in my car! I haven't heard these in years! So... if any of you have any good suggestions let me know! I'm sure the boys will be sick of Papa don't Preach in a day or so.
(This makes me so old, doesn't it??)
My latest addiction is 80's/90's music... specifically borrowing them from the library. So, last week I reqeusted (oh yeah!) Madonna's True Blue and Cyndi Lauper's True Colors. These were *quitessential* to my youth. I got True Blue from my best friend Kristen (I think!) for my 11th birthday, and listened to it non-stop for about two years (along with Footloose and Janet Jackson). Seriously, with my spiral perm and banana clips, I had a brush (I could put hair spray in the spray tip) that we would SO use as a microphone. On Friday nights, Kris and I would poof up the hair, throw on our leggings and jean jackets, and we WERE Madonna. Yeah, so I picked it up today, and ohmygoodness, it was like 80's disco in my car! I haven't heard these in years! So... if any of you have any good suggestions let me know! I'm sure the boys will be sick of Papa don't Preach in a day or so.
(This makes me so old, doesn't it??)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
odd morning.
Yeah, so I'm supposed to start a new temp project this morning. I'm actually supposed to be there right now (9:30), and when I headed out to my car an hour ago, I had a flat tire. So, Lauren and I tried to change it ourselves (we've both done it a few times), but it didn't happen. So, I called AAA and they should be here by 10. It makes a great impression showing up 2.5 hours late to your first day, doesn't it?? (I called in at 8:45).
The good news is that I just checked my email, and my e-filed tax return finally went through! I talked to H&R Block Sunday, and they said I had to paper file and it wouldn't e-file. So, for shits & giggles I tried it one last time, knowing for sure all my information was correct... and voila! It went through! So, I should have my return next week. That makes me a happy girl. :)
Okay. I'm off to wait for AAA.
The good news is that I just checked my email, and my e-filed tax return finally went through! I talked to H&R Block Sunday, and they said I had to paper file and it wouldn't e-file. So, for shits & giggles I tried it one last time, knowing for sure all my information was correct... and voila! It went through! So, I should have my return next week. That makes me a happy girl. :)
Okay. I'm off to wait for AAA.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Should I hate technology or the IRS??
I just spent an HOUR on the phone with H&R Block, only to find out there IS NO PROBLEM with my return on their end; and everything is correct on the IRS end as well. Apparently, there are always a few people every year who have this problem; even though everything is correct and social security numbers match up, there is red tape and you can't e-file again. So, now, not only can I NOT e-file this year, I probably won't be able to e-file again, which really sucks. They suggested I call the IRS to see if they could fix the problem so it wouldn't happen again next year, but couldn't guarantee anything.
Second, can I just say, even though I don't make a lot of money (and H&R Block knows that now that they've seen my return), I AM NOT STUPID! I've been through the same H&R Block tax course these people have, and I've even prepared other people's tax returns for FIVE years now. Yes, I am a single parent. Yes, I claim the EIC. Yes, I'm from Indiana, and Yes, I made pitiful pay last year. I still have a college degree, including a few accounting classes. Quit treating me like I'm the dumbest thing that just crawled out from under a rock to file my taxes... only to return back to my rock until next filing season.
Okay. I'm done. Just had to vent.
Oh, wait? Do you hear that? I hear a bottle of reisling calling my name.
Second, can I just say, even though I don't make a lot of money (and H&R Block knows that now that they've seen my return), I AM NOT STUPID! I've been through the same H&R Block tax course these people have, and I've even prepared other people's tax returns for FIVE years now. Yes, I am a single parent. Yes, I claim the EIC. Yes, I'm from Indiana, and Yes, I made pitiful pay last year. I still have a college degree, including a few accounting classes. Quit treating me like I'm the dumbest thing that just crawled out from under a rock to file my taxes... only to return back to my rock until next filing season.
Okay. I'm done. Just had to vent.
Oh, wait? Do you hear that? I hear a bottle of reisling calling my name.
Nothing is Certain but Death FROM Taxes.
AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
Okay.
I e-filed my taxes Wednesday morning. I posted a blog about it right afterwards... I was even a little giddy. It was premature.
Soon after the post, I got an email saying the IRS had rejected my return due to an error, and that I needed to fix it. So, I did just that - I logged back into my account and there was a message saying that there was an internal error, it had already been fixed, and I could re-submit. Okay, no problem.
I got that email no less than ten times on Wednesday. In the meantime, I called H&R Block four times and the IRS four times - of course, they both said it was the other party's problem. On calls number four for each company, we finally figured it out - H&R Block's software was supposed to carry over the boys' SSN to a different area, and it didn't. There was some glitch in the software where it was also supposed to catch that error. Block guy #4 said Ben's number had carried through for both his and Evan's numbers. I told him on my screens I had the numbers correct, he said he could see that too, and I resubmitted. It didn't go through.
Friday morning I got another email saying the SSN's didn't match up with the Social Security Administration's numbers. Like, come on now. I'm staring at the same numbers I've filed with the past FOUR years... I know they're right! I seriously spent 30 minutes max preparing my return, and I've probably spent three hours on the phone now, over the past five days, trying to get this figured out. Right now I'm on hold with Block AGAIN (18 minutes so far), trying to get this figured out.
I seriously could have paper filed and probably gotten this through quicker. Argh. I've e-filed my own taxes the past five years without any problems... I guess it's my turn. Maybe I'll get my refund back by the time I'm 33.
Okay.
I e-filed my taxes Wednesday morning. I posted a blog about it right afterwards... I was even a little giddy. It was premature.
Soon after the post, I got an email saying the IRS had rejected my return due to an error, and that I needed to fix it. So, I did just that - I logged back into my account and there was a message saying that there was an internal error, it had already been fixed, and I could re-submit. Okay, no problem.
I got that email no less than ten times on Wednesday. In the meantime, I called H&R Block four times and the IRS four times - of course, they both said it was the other party's problem. On calls number four for each company, we finally figured it out - H&R Block's software was supposed to carry over the boys' SSN to a different area, and it didn't. There was some glitch in the software where it was also supposed to catch that error. Block guy #4 said Ben's number had carried through for both his and Evan's numbers. I told him on my screens I had the numbers correct, he said he could see that too, and I resubmitted. It didn't go through.
Friday morning I got another email saying the SSN's didn't match up with the Social Security Administration's numbers. Like, come on now. I'm staring at the same numbers I've filed with the past FOUR years... I know they're right! I seriously spent 30 minutes max preparing my return, and I've probably spent three hours on the phone now, over the past five days, trying to get this figured out. Right now I'm on hold with Block AGAIN (18 minutes so far), trying to get this figured out.
I seriously could have paper filed and probably gotten this through quicker. Argh. I've e-filed my own taxes the past five years without any problems... I guess it's my turn. Maybe I'll get my refund back by the time I'm 33.
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