This infuriates me. Was this really necessary?
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/26/rnc.obama.satire/index.html
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Well, that was a fun night!
Oh, the drama never ends in our home.
Last night, about 9 pm, I had the kids in the bath, the lights flickered, and the power went out. Mind you, it was 1 DEGREE outside. Evan got a little scared after I lit some candles, but we told them it was a little like camping. We lit a few candles and read some books, and all snuggled in our bed together. We had our comforter and grabbed the old down comforter out of the closet, and kept pretty warm.
Both Ben and Evan have some kind of cold thing going on. Last week Evan had a really nasty, persistent cough and passed it off to Ben this weekend. Evan now just has a green snotty runny nose. Ben also has a violent cough right now. Yesterday morning he was coughing so hard that it made him vomit. Last night, as we were all snug in our bed (with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads), Ben started coughing in his sleep and threw up. A lot. All over everything and everyone. And we couldn't even turn on the lighs to clean up. So, we moved Evan to his bed (not realizing he, too, was covered), stripped the sheets, and got back to sleep. At this point, it was around midnight and 58 degrees in the house. Luckily, that was the only puke of the night, and the power came on around 3:30 this morning.
Seeing that both the boys were sick and there is vomit on two comforters, one set of sheets and mattress pad, two pillows and two other blankets (not to mention the boys), I decided to stay home from work today. I had loads of laundry both in the washer and the dryer when the power went out, so I restarted those this morning so I can do even more laundry. And to think I was only a load away from being caught up! Oh well. The boys have had (another) bath, as have I, so we're starting out in pretty good shape.
Oy vay.
Last night, about 9 pm, I had the kids in the bath, the lights flickered, and the power went out. Mind you, it was 1 DEGREE outside. Evan got a little scared after I lit some candles, but we told them it was a little like camping. We lit a few candles and read some books, and all snuggled in our bed together. We had our comforter and grabbed the old down comforter out of the closet, and kept pretty warm.
Both Ben and Evan have some kind of cold thing going on. Last week Evan had a really nasty, persistent cough and passed it off to Ben this weekend. Evan now just has a green snotty runny nose. Ben also has a violent cough right now. Yesterday morning he was coughing so hard that it made him vomit. Last night, as we were all snug in our bed (with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads), Ben started coughing in his sleep and threw up. A lot. All over everything and everyone. And we couldn't even turn on the lighs to clean up. So, we moved Evan to his bed (not realizing he, too, was covered), stripped the sheets, and got back to sleep. At this point, it was around midnight and 58 degrees in the house. Luckily, that was the only puke of the night, and the power came on around 3:30 this morning.
Seeing that both the boys were sick and there is vomit on two comforters, one set of sheets and mattress pad, two pillows and two other blankets (not to mention the boys), I decided to stay home from work today. I had loads of laundry both in the washer and the dryer when the power went out, so I restarted those this morning so I can do even more laundry. And to think I was only a load away from being caught up! Oh well. The boys have had (another) bath, as have I, so we're starting out in pretty good shape.
Oy vay.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Word of the Day
Buttcheetocks: Evan's mashing of the words 'buttcheek' and 'buttocks'. Does this scare you that he uses both of these words on a regular basis? My boys are a little (LOT) obsessed with all things toilet. They are toilet humor's number one fan.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
i heart new york
I just found the most fun little blog ever. I lurve NYC, and this blog has little nuggets of greatness... every day! I mean, spectacular pictures and a brief article/history lesson - I'm addicted already. Check it out if you want!
http://newyorkdailyphoto.blogspot.com/
http://newyorkdailyphoto.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
to do list for 12/3
1. Wake at 5 am with Ben standing over you. He tells you his tummy hurts and he has to throw up. Take him to the bathroom, watch him cough and tell you he's better now.
2. While the rest of the family sleeps, use your free time at 5:15 am to clean the living room, since you're wide awake anyway. What else would you possibly want to do that early in the morning?
3. At 5:30 am, Ben will tell you that he has to throw up. You tell him to go into the bathroom, and he'll tell you that he thinks he already threw up. On the stairs.
4. Clean up vomit until 5:45 am.
5. Call in to work at 6:30 am.
6. Evan will wake around 7 am. He will tell you that he needs to poop. Take him to the bathroom. False alarm. Flush toilet, wash hands, etc.
7. 7:05 am - false alarm #2. There are usually 4-5 false alarms until the real thing. Until then, he's shooting blanks. Flush toilet, wash hands, etc.
8. 7:10 am - false alarm #3... or so you think. You let Evan do this one himself, as you think it will be another dress rehearsal. It's not. Evan will ask you to come help. When you get there, you realize 1. he DID in fact poo, and 2. he didn't make it to the toilet. You'll notice not only is it on the floor and both rugs in the bathroom, it's in the heating register. And down in the duct. And it's runny.
9. Wish you would have kept the nickel between your knees approximately 4 and 6 years ago.
10. Clean quite possibly the nastiest mess you've ever had to clean. You are a human pooper scooper.
11. Everyone else awakens, and you're in a bad mood already. Realize it's only 8:00 am. Listen to Lauren tell you how tired he is. Snarl.
12. Make breakfast for the family, clean kitchen a little.
13. Work on photos for obnoxious mothers of high school seniors. After all, each of these mothers is your only customer.
14. 11:00 am - Lauren leaves for meeting with his accountant. Tells you he'll be back by 1:00 pm.
15. Turn on bath water to heat up for shower. Evan decides to jump in instead. Whatever. You let him because you don't feel like fighting. Give Evan a bath. The phone rings, you talk for 60 seconds, head back to the tub. Realize you forgot to remove the new bottle of kids body wash, and Evan has poured every last drop of it in the tub. Argh.
16. Shower, finally. Evan decides he has to pee while he's watching a movie, so instead of using the toilet, he pees into a bowl he finds. Eww.
17. Get ready for work. Ben tells you his stomach hurts again.
18. It's 1:00. Lauren calls to tell you he's on the south side, he's just leaving, will be home by 1:30 instead of 1:00. You're going to be even later for work. Lovely.
19. Leave for work at 1:40 pm. Lauren will call you at 1:45 to tell you that Ben had diarrhea as soon as you left. He didn't make it to the bathroom in time, and it's all over the floor in the bathroom. Laugh. It's finally his turn to clean up poo. 1 point.
20. 2:00 pm. Get to work. It's holiday decorating day. You totally forgot. Work for an hour.
21. Decorate from 3:00 to 4:45. Work with the decorations they gave you, until someone (a higher authority) tells you all the decorations are wrong, they're in the wrong place, everything has a place and obviously you don't know where that place is. You remind this person you didn't work here last year at this time. This person will pick at other things that aren't correct because they're not her way, then tell you not to get discouraged and keep decorating. Stare into space, dumbfounded. Hold your tongue. Don't get fired.
22. Decorate until 5:45. Finally, you can go home, as everyone else has left.
23. Get home. The boys are still taking a nap. They awaken, and you ask how they're feeling. They are both whiny. They are both thirsty. You won't let Ben have apple cider or milk since he's had vomiting and diarrhea today. He will yell at you because he wants lemonade, but you are out. You offer him a pedialyte popsicle, and he cries.
24. Ask the boys what daddy made them for lunch. They tell you daddy didn't make them anything. It's 6:15 pm.
25. Make lunch for the boys. Tell them you picked up the first season of The Muppet Show from the library for them. They whine and tell you they hate the muppet show. Exercise your patience and don't yell. Tell them sternly not to talk back and/or whine.
26. Sit down to blog about your shiteous day. Hope everyone gets a good laugh... you know in time you will. Or you might. Someday. Go to bed early so the day can end. Quickly. Now.
2. While the rest of the family sleeps, use your free time at 5:15 am to clean the living room, since you're wide awake anyway. What else would you possibly want to do that early in the morning?
3. At 5:30 am, Ben will tell you that he has to throw up. You tell him to go into the bathroom, and he'll tell you that he thinks he already threw up. On the stairs.
4. Clean up vomit until 5:45 am.
5. Call in to work at 6:30 am.
6. Evan will wake around 7 am. He will tell you that he needs to poop. Take him to the bathroom. False alarm. Flush toilet, wash hands, etc.
7. 7:05 am - false alarm #2. There are usually 4-5 false alarms until the real thing. Until then, he's shooting blanks. Flush toilet, wash hands, etc.
8. 7:10 am - false alarm #3... or so you think. You let Evan do this one himself, as you think it will be another dress rehearsal. It's not. Evan will ask you to come help. When you get there, you realize 1. he DID in fact poo, and 2. he didn't make it to the toilet. You'll notice not only is it on the floor and both rugs in the bathroom, it's in the heating register. And down in the duct. And it's runny.
9. Wish you would have kept the nickel between your knees approximately 4 and 6 years ago.
10. Clean quite possibly the nastiest mess you've ever had to clean. You are a human pooper scooper.
11. Everyone else awakens, and you're in a bad mood already. Realize it's only 8:00 am. Listen to Lauren tell you how tired he is. Snarl.
12. Make breakfast for the family, clean kitchen a little.
13. Work on photos for obnoxious mothers of high school seniors. After all, each of these mothers is your only customer.
14. 11:00 am - Lauren leaves for meeting with his accountant. Tells you he'll be back by 1:00 pm.
15. Turn on bath water to heat up for shower. Evan decides to jump in instead. Whatever. You let him because you don't feel like fighting. Give Evan a bath. The phone rings, you talk for 60 seconds, head back to the tub. Realize you forgot to remove the new bottle of kids body wash, and Evan has poured every last drop of it in the tub. Argh.
16. Shower, finally. Evan decides he has to pee while he's watching a movie, so instead of using the toilet, he pees into a bowl he finds. Eww.
17. Get ready for work. Ben tells you his stomach hurts again.
18. It's 1:00. Lauren calls to tell you he's on the south side, he's just leaving, will be home by 1:30 instead of 1:00. You're going to be even later for work. Lovely.
19. Leave for work at 1:40 pm. Lauren will call you at 1:45 to tell you that Ben had diarrhea as soon as you left. He didn't make it to the bathroom in time, and it's all over the floor in the bathroom. Laugh. It's finally his turn to clean up poo. 1 point.
20. 2:00 pm. Get to work. It's holiday decorating day. You totally forgot. Work for an hour.
21. Decorate from 3:00 to 4:45. Work with the decorations they gave you, until someone (a higher authority) tells you all the decorations are wrong, they're in the wrong place, everything has a place and obviously you don't know where that place is. You remind this person you didn't work here last year at this time. This person will pick at other things that aren't correct because they're not her way, then tell you not to get discouraged and keep decorating. Stare into space, dumbfounded. Hold your tongue. Don't get fired.
22. Decorate until 5:45. Finally, you can go home, as everyone else has left.
23. Get home. The boys are still taking a nap. They awaken, and you ask how they're feeling. They are both whiny. They are both thirsty. You won't let Ben have apple cider or milk since he's had vomiting and diarrhea today. He will yell at you because he wants lemonade, but you are out. You offer him a pedialyte popsicle, and he cries.
24. Ask the boys what daddy made them for lunch. They tell you daddy didn't make them anything. It's 6:15 pm.
25. Make lunch for the boys. Tell them you picked up the first season of The Muppet Show from the library for them. They whine and tell you they hate the muppet show. Exercise your patience and don't yell. Tell them sternly not to talk back and/or whine.
26. Sit down to blog about your shiteous day. Hope everyone gets a good laugh... you know in time you will. Or you might. Someday. Go to bed early so the day can end. Quickly. Now.
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