Okay. I'm going to warn you, I'm angry and I'm venting.
So I had (not have) a wedding scheduled for 7/12. It just happened to be this guy I dated in high school. I do admit I was stupid for 1. waiving the deposit, 2. telling him he could return the contract when they were ready, and 3. trusting him in the first place.
We booked this wedding back in October, right after they got engaged. I've been trying for a month atleast to get in touch with him to do engagement pictures (part of the package) or atleast get him to tell me where and what time the wedding was. He emails me back today, finally, and they're using a "friend of the family" (what am I??) who is a wedding photographer, and that it's been paid in full for a while now.
Yes, today, two weeks before the wedding. Unfortunately, I do know him well enough to tell when he's lying. I think he's known for a while, and I think he's put off telling me about it. Seriously, I turned down another wedding because of his - another wedding at full price - and now, nothing.
I can't even begin to tell you how angry I am. At first I wanted to return his email and chew him out and call him every name in the book. My standard rule is to wait 24-48 hours until I calm down to address something like this. Lauren and I have been discussing this quite a bit tonight, and I realize that I've mixed the business and the personal. It's hard not to do when someone appeals to your personal side (as an old friend) and you trust them (as a friend), then cancel at the last minute. It's certainly not professional for me to tell him he's a slimy asshole of a liar. I have other friends whose weddings I have treated the same way, and so far everyone has been equally respectful and things have worked out well. I don't want to have to change how I do business, especially for the good people I know and work with.
So, what do I do now? Do I charge a cancellation fee? Charge him for the wedding? I don't have a signed contract, so I have nothing to hold over him. I'm sure I won't get the money out of him - is it wrong for me to let him know that this was an underhanded and disrespectful thing to do? I mean, I'm sure he knows that, but I don't know that he cares. Normally I would decide to not burn any bridges because people always need pictures, and I appreciate referrals. This time, I don't know that I'm concerned about it.
Any suggestions??? Seriously, whatever opinions/ideas/suggestions anyone has are welcome and appreciated.
AARRRGGGGHHHHH. Thanks for listening to me vent.
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When I know I have better things to do and don't want to do them, this is where I go to waste my time.
4 comments:
No it is not wrong of you to let him know, at the very least, that he inconvenienced you and cost you another wedding because you saved that day specifically for him. That is not unprofessional and you better believe someone else would be charging him a hefty cancelation fee. Thanks so much for doing my wedding, it did mean the world to me!!!!
Miss, seriously, charge his punk ass the cancellation fee. He already renegged on the friendship by lying to you. And verbal contracts are not to be ignored. He agreed to use your professional services and then cost you other business when he canceled without proper notice. If he has any integrity he'll pay you something, and I don't think it's out of line for you to say so. You have kids and house to pay for!
Of course, I'm a rather jaded, cynical bitch so take the above with a grain of salt...
But really, he should pay you...
I started this as a new blog, then decided to add it as a comment.
We live in a world where my slimy, snake-like ass-for-an-ex can be totally happy and have a beautiful wife, and I will probably never get married.
He had the nerve to friend request me on facebook. I have not emailed him back yet; I have not cooled down enough yet.
Argh.
Thanks for the comments, by the way. You too, Meg. :)
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